Good-Bye, Old Girl

She was roughly about half the size of a Tribble when my lovely wife Christine brought her home from the breeder in February of 1995, a bouncing brown ball of fur that literally fit into the palm of my hand. She looked like an energetic bran muffin, so that's what we named her. Muffin J. Dog. Though she never did tell us what the J stood for.

She slept in bed with us almost from the start, generally curling up on the top of my head for the warmth generated there. When she was under a pound, it was cute. When she grew to over 80 pounds, it was pretty much life-threatening. Still, I could deny her nothing.

She was never much of a fetcher. She'd prefer to trot around the house carrying a stuffed fleece figure we called Fuzzbaby in her mouth. She was incredibly gentle with it. And with everyone and everything else she ever encountered in life. She wasn't a leash dog either. She didn't need one. When we went walking, she was always by my side. If she happened to bound on a few yards ahead, she'd always stop, look back over her shoulder and make certain I was still following. When I was in my office, writing, she would always be curled up on the carpet in the doorway, keeping a watchful eye to make certain she didn't lose sight of me. Every so often, someone would come to the front door to make a delivery and Muffin would wander outside. The delivery person would become flustered and advise me to grab my dog before she could run away. I always assured them there was nothing to worry about. That dog wasn't going anywhere.

As the years passed and we replaced our bedroom set, the bed became a little too high for old Muff to jump onto, so she'd spend the nights curled up on a big old dog bed set beside ours. She never wanted, asked for, or needed anything more than to be near us to make sure we were safe.

About a year and a half ago, Muffin started moaning one morning and seemed unable to rise from the kitchen floor. We rushed her to the vet, who checked her out and told us that she was suffering from an engorged spleen (whatever the hell that meant) and we had it surgically removed. Within a few days, she was back on her feet and happy again. A few months after that, she started having seizures. Again, we took her to the vet, who prescribed phenobarbitol to control the seizures, which promptly ceased.

But there was something different about poor Muffy after that. She would spend hours and hours pacing around the house in circles, clearly uncertain of where she was or what she was doing. Back to the vet, who told us that she was terribly arthritic and somewhat senile, so painkillers were added to the mix. A few months after that, the incontinence began.

But, through it all, we loved her. We scratched her graying head, patted her thinning tummy, tried to keep her as comfortable and as happy as we could.

About two weeks ago, the day came when Muffy suddenly couldn't get up on her hind legs anymore. I rushed her to the vet, thinking this was probably the end. But the vet said we could try one last thing. She prescribed a steroid called prednazone. Within hours, Muffy was back on her feet again and, wonder of wonders, no longer pacing around the house on a regular basis. Instead, she was back to lying wherever we were sitting, staying with us, protecting her family again. There was still the incontinence problem, but in the balance a minuscule price to pay.

Then, last night, out of nowhere, the seizures started again. And the hind legs failed. And the whimpering was heartbreaking. Today, Christine and I took her back to the vet for the final time, hoping for yet another miracle. But when she started seizing right there in the office, we knew our quota of miracles was finally used up. After weeping together uncontrollably for a few minutes, Chris and I made the only loving choice we could.

So I held her and looked into her sweet brown eyes and stroked her noble head and kissed her nose and told her how much we loved her and how we would always love her and how lucky we had been that she had chosen to be our dog and that it was finally okay to let go of the pain and the suffering and go into the light to play for awhile until the day we could get to see her again and, never one to disobey me, that's precisely what she did.

And now the best, most loving, most loyal dog I've ever known is gone, and the world is infinitely poorer for it and I feel like I've lost my best friend and I'll never be whole again.

So, if you'll all forgive me, I think I'm going to go and cry my eyes out for a good long while.

I expect I'll be doing a lot of that in the days and weeks to come.

What's the Word, Hummingbird?

This week, my dear buddies J. Keith Van Straaten and Jim Newman, the dynamic duo who have previously dazzled us all with their faithful and impossibly entertaining revival of the classic game show What's My Line? -- on which I was frequently fortunate enough to be a panelist and of which I've posted often here in the past -- are at it again. (And a quick claws up to anyone who can actually diagram that sentence.) This coming Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday, November 17th, 19th and 20th, they are introducing their exciting new game show Word 1 to the world back at their usual stomping grounds, the Acme Comedy Theater, here in Los Angeles on La Brea Avenue a half-block south of Beverly Boulevard.

If you're able to come watch the wonderment unfold during any or all of the three nights, you might still be able to get tickets by clicking here. Truth to be told, they'd be cheap at twice the absurdly low price they're charging.

The celebrity contestants for the three nights include the always-entertaining Gary Anthony Williams (late of Boston Legal), the lovely and talented Suzy Nakamura (recently of Help Me Help You and Back to You) and Bil Dwyer (host of the latest GSN revival of I've Got a Secret). For both of you who care about such things, I'll be at the show on Wednesday, serving as a celebrity judge for the evening, so drop by and say hi. I'd eagerly be there in the audience the other two nights, but my stupid schedule was already booked up for both days with things I couldn't get out of, so I'll be trying to pack three nights of fun into one.

But, knowing what J. Keith and Jim have in store for us all, that shouldn't be hard.

Hope to see you there.

Thank God It's Finally Here!

Well, after the longest campaign in modern history (I think it began the day after the 2004 election), today is Election Day! Get up, get dressed, get out, and vote! If you expect long lines at your local polling place, bring along a book or something else to keep yourself entertained while you wait. If it's raining or snowing or you're experiencing a monsoon, put on your favorite galoshes and your best yellow raincoat, pull the collar close and brave the storm. There is no excuse for not voting. None. Not even death. Hell, in Chicago, dead people have been known to vote all the time.

I hope, like me, you'll vote for Barack Obama and give change a chance and, if you happen to live in California, you'll vote a resounding NO on propositions 4, 8, and 11, but even if you vote the other way and we completely cancel out each other's ballot, VOTE!

It's your privilege as an American. It's your duty as a citizen. And, as Florida in 2000 and Ohio in 2004 so vividly proved, every single vote matters.

Go! Get out! Get Busy! Make me proud!

Remember, Captain America died for our sins.

On The Road Again

Just a quick note to let all and sundry know that your humble blogger will be one of the many fine guests this weekend at the annual Mid-Ohio-Con, to be held in beautiful downtown Columbus, Ohio, and to which you can still get membership and all other pertinent info by clicking right here. 

I'll be joining a line-up of guests that will include my good friends Mark Evanier, Tony Isabella, Chris Claremont, Alan Davis and the proverbial host of others, so if you're in the Columbus area this weekend, be sure to stop by, say hi, and mention that you're a faithful follower of this here blog. There's no special prize or anything involved in saying so, but the more of you who mention you read this thing, the more likely it is that I'll blog here more often.

Mid-Ohio-Con. It puts the "hi" in Ohio.

More Comics Goodness

Since I've recently written a new Munden's Bar story for them, currently being illustrated by my old pal and master artist Joe Staton, and want you all to be able to read it once it's finally finished and posted, I've just added a link over there to the right to the entertaining website Comicmix, run by another old friend and associate, Mike Gold.

Just click on over and check out the comics-related goodness. I'll let you all know when the Munden's story is posted.

A Banner Headline

You might, assuming you're one of those inclined to take advantage of the many free extras we happily run along the right side of this here blog, notice the new Obama/Biden banner recently imbedded there. What you might not know is that, should you decide to click on it, it will take you to the official Obama/Biden website, where you can catch up on all the latest election news, find out what you can do to support the candidates, and even, should you be so inclined, make a donation to the campaign. I've done it, my lovely wife has done it, and any and all of you Gentle Readers who believe as we do that the Democrats are our best and brightest hope of getting this once-great nation back on the path to prosperity and international acceptance might consider doing it as well.

If, of course, you like things pretty much just as they are and have no problems with the thought of four more years of financial headlines like those which terrified Wall Street yesterday, you are welcome to vote as you are so inclined.

It is, after all, at least for the forseeable future, a free country.

Palin For President

No, not that pathetic ploy from a once-proud political party now willing to do quite literally anything to maintain their desperate grip on our governmental gonads, but the Palin who ought to be in office. Click right here to join the campaign.

If you do, not only will you be supporting a candidate well worthy of your efforts, but you'll also get a free fuzzy thing.

And, frankly, who could rightfully ask for anything more than that?

Three Simple Rules

I think it was the legendary actor James Cagney who once explained that there were three simple rules to connecting with an audience: "You hit your mark. You plant your feet. And you tell the truth." Equally-memorable actor Spencer Tracy once said that the three basic rules of performing before an audience were: "Be on time. Know your lines. Try not to trip over the furniture."

On Thursday evening at the DNC, I believe Democratic presidential candidate Senator Barack Obama did Jimmy Cagney proud. On Friday morning, in Ohio, in introducing neophyte Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate, I'm pretty sure presumptive Republican presidential candidate Senator John McCain violated Spencer Tracy's third rule big time.

Does the Republican political machine really assume that supporters of Democratic Senator Hillary Clinton are so shallow that they will switch their allegiance to the opposing party simply because Governor Palin shares the same plumbing as Senator Clinton? If I were the good Senator from New York, I think I'd be spending most of the next two months reminding prospective voters that they need to support her agenda, rather than merely her gender.

I'm just saying...

Okay, I'm Back (Now Where Have We Heard That Before?)

Yeah, I know. I promised I'd blog on a regular basis, swore it actually, and since it's been a month since my last blog, I obviously (though unwittingly) lied and now I'm probably going to go directly to Hell when I die, and I won't pass GO, and I won't collect $200, and I'll probably wind up sharing a one-room twelfth-floor walk-up apartment with Dick Cheney or someone even more despicable, who'll probably eat nothing but steamed cabbage and fart a lot, and the apartment's one teeny tiny little window will probably face in the wrong direction and it won't even have a good view of the fiery sulphur pits of the Seventh Circle and I'll...oh, look! A Butterfly!

I'm sorry. Where was I?

Oh, right. I'm back.

Truth to tell, I started to write up a nifty blog entry right after I got home from the San Diego Comic-Con, but that entire week was so unspeakably wonderful and so utterly overwhelming that I just couldn't figure out where to start. I mean, seriously.

First, on the day before the Con, the good folks at WB Online Games finally announce that the Watchmen video game will be coming out around the same time as the blockbuster movie next March and that I'm the lucky sonuvagun who got to write the thing. Finally, after all those weeks of obligatory silence, I can tell the world what I've been doing for the past six months. I still can't talk details, but the game is gonna be cool. Trust me. Have I ever lied to you? I mean, aside from saying I was gonna blog regularly?

Then, on Thursday, the first actual day of the Con, the absurdly-handsome Hugh Jackman makes an unannounced appearance at the Fox Panel to show the trailer for the new Wolverine feature coming next May, and makes it a point, in front of 6500 people, to call me out and then jump down from the stage to shake my hand, telling all and sundry that this was the hand that had given him a career, leading to photos of the two of us together that appeared in nearly all the entertainment blogs and magazines. I mean, Jeez Louise, how the heck do you top that?

Well, I guess you top it the following night at the Annual Eisner Awards when I actually heaqr my name called to come on up and accept one of the blessed thingies and suddenly find myself inducted into the Eisner Hall of Fame. Seriously, that's just wrong. I haven't been in this business anywhere near long enough to have made that kind of mark, and to find myself in such stellar company as those who've won the honor in the past? Clearly, I've got to be dreaming.

And that, Gentle Readers, is why I haven't blogged at all during the past month. Apparently, I've been having one hell of a dream and I really don't want to wake up.

You'll just have to forgive my snoring.

Blog Alert!

Did you know my dear friend, TV writer Gillian Horvath, has had her very own blog for several months now? I certainly didn't.

Because the cursed woman never tells me anything!

Seriously, it is, like Gillian herself, charming and entertaining. You can check it out here or by clicking on the newly-installed link to the right.

Drop on by over there and tell her I sent you.

Where I'll Be at San Diego Comic-Con

With the big extravaganza mere days away now, I thought I'd give both of you who're interested a quick heads-up as to when and where you'll be able to find me amongst the vast multitudes at the Con this coming week. The schedule still isn't final, but at the moment, it looks like this.

THURSDAY

11AM to 12PM - Rumor has it I'll be signing autographs over at the DC Booth.

The rest of the day I've got pretty much to myself to see the con and visit other people's panels.

FRIDAY

11:55AM to 1PM - I'm told I'll be at The Watchmen panel in Hall H. I may only be asked to wave at folks from the audience, but that's still where I'm likely to be. This is to some degree unfortunate, because it overlaps with:

12:30PM to 2PM - As quickly as possible after the Watchmen panel, I'll race over to join "That '70s Panel" in room 8, where I'll be joining moderator Mark Evanier (who worked with Jack "King" Kirby on DC’s "Fourth World" books in the ’70s) and Comic-Con special guests Mike W. Barr (Camelot 3000, Batman), Howard Chaykin (American Flagg!), Mike Grell (Warlord, Green Arrow), Paul Gulacy (Master of Kung Fu, Sabre), Jim Starlin (Dreadstar, Captain Marvel), Joe Staton (Green Lantern, E-Man) and Bernie Wrightson (Swamp Thing, Frankenstein) in a frank discussion of what the hell we were thinking when we did all that back then. Then immediately after that panel...

2PM to 3PM - I'll be signing autographs with many of the fine folks from the previous panel out at the autographing area under the sails.

5PM to 6PM - Rumor again has it that I'll be back at the DC Booth signing my little heart out.

8PM to 11PM - You'll find me at the annual Eisner Awards, where I am not only a presenter, but also a nominee this year. Come on by and wish me luck and, if you listen real close, you'll probably be able to hear my knees knocking.

SATURDAY

11:15AM to 12:30PM - If you play your cards right, you should be able to catch me at the always well-attended "Quick Draw" panel, hosted by the above-mentioned Mark Evanier and starring quick-draw cartoonists extraordinaire Sergio Aragones, Scott Shaw! and Mike Peters. Wave as I go by.

1PM to 2PM - I'll be at the Shout! Factory booth (#3749) signing copies of the Swamp Thing DVD sets with the fine actor who portrayed Swampy in both TV and film, Dick Durock.

4:30PM to 5:20PM - I'll be back under the sails again, signing autographs until I have to leave for...

5:30PM to 6:30PM - The "Spotlight on Len Wein" panel to be held in room 8, where your humble blogger will be mercilessly cross-examined on his life and career by the apparently-omnipresent Mark Evanier.

SUNDAY

1PM to 2PM - I expect to be doing my final signing at the DC Booth.

2:30PM to 4PM - You will find me in room 4, once again bravely leading a talented team of top professionals against a team of not-nearly-as-talented amateurs in the annual Pro/Fan Trivia Challenge. Come watch the Purple Pros, namely your humble blogger, ubergeek (and I mean that only in the most respectful way) and Boom! Studios' Editor-in-Chief Mark Waid, X-Men Animated writer Robert N. Skir and a top-secret guest panelist to be named probably minutes before the panel begins as we once again take on the fanboy Black Ink Irregulars in a to-the-death cage match that is certain to be whispered about for decades to come.

And that, at least at the moment, is my Comic-Con schedule for 2008. So, basically, if you've got something of mine you want autographed and it hasn't been signed by the end of the con, you have no one to blame but yourself.

See you on the con floor (possibly FLAT on the con floor by Sunday). We'll see.

Tivo Alert!

Okay, while I'm busy breaking my arm patting myself on the back about the Entertainment Weekly mention and also talking about the forthcoming Dark Knight film (both of which I've done in the last few posts here), it occurs to me that I should probably also mention that those of you with DVRs or Tivo or any other sort of television-recording device might be inclined to set such mechanisms to record the History Channel tomorrow night, July 16th, at 9 PM for a one-hour special called Batman Unmasked: The Psychology of the Dark Knight. It's a Special/Documentary that will delve into the mind and the mythos behind everybody's favorite pointy-eared vigilante.

I mention this because rumor has it that I am one of the many who was interviewed for this special and, if you play your cards right, you might even be able to see my smiling face a time or two during the hour commenting on my relationship with the Batman as well as telling the story behind my creation of the Caped Crusader's mentor and tech wizard Lucius Fox, played so wonderfully in the bat-films by the incomparable Morgan Freeman. The show will be rerun a number of times over the next week, so if you miss Wednesday night, there will be several other opportunities to catch it.

And, if you like this special, then you'll certainly want to set your machine to record the follow-up special Batman Tech on the History Channel next Monday, July 21st, at 9 PM, which will discuss...well, pretty much what the title describes. I'm supposed to be on that special as well, so by the end of next weekend, between the two specials and all my appearances as a Special Guest at the San Diego Comic-Con, you'll all be pretty darned sick of looking at me.

Seriously though, if you do record the specials and I am on them as promised, drop me a line and let me know what you thought, wouldja? You know how insecure I am.

Check your local listings for correct time and channel.