What's the Word, Hummingbird?

This week, my dear buddies J. Keith Van Straaten and Jim Newman, the dynamic duo who have previously dazzled us all with their faithful and impossibly entertaining revival of the classic game show What's My Line? -- on which I was frequently fortunate enough to be a panelist and of which I've posted often here in the past -- are at it again. (And a quick claws up to anyone who can actually diagram that sentence.) This coming Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday, November 17th, 19th and 20th, they are introducing their exciting new game show Word 1 to the world back at their usual stomping grounds, the Acme Comedy Theater, here in Los Angeles on La Brea Avenue a half-block south of Beverly Boulevard.

If you're able to come watch the wonderment unfold during any or all of the three nights, you might still be able to get tickets by clicking here. Truth to be told, they'd be cheap at twice the absurdly low price they're charging.

The celebrity contestants for the three nights include the always-entertaining Gary Anthony Williams (late of Boston Legal), the lovely and talented Suzy Nakamura (recently of Help Me Help You and Back to You) and Bil Dwyer (host of the latest GSN revival of I've Got a Secret). For both of you who care about such things, I'll be at the show on Wednesday, serving as a celebrity judge for the evening, so drop by and say hi. I'd eagerly be there in the audience the other two nights, but my stupid schedule was already booked up for both days with things I couldn't get out of, so I'll be trying to pack three nights of fun into one.

But, knowing what J. Keith and Jim have in store for us all, that shouldn't be hard.

Hope to see you there.

Ah, There's the Rub

Well, Sunday night's incredible episode of What's My Line? - Live on Stage was certainly a blur of activity. No, I mean that literally, since I broke my glasses five minutes before showtime and had to go onstage without them. The rest of the panel this week consisted of Emmy-nominated writer and former co-host of Win Ben Stein's Money Nancy Pimental, comedian, writer, actor (The Astronaut Farmer), the multi-talented Rick Overton, and former Buffy the Vampire Slayer cast member Felicia Day, and a wondrous bunch were they all. We had two -- count 'em, TWO -- Mystery Guests this week, which was fun. The first, whom I guessed, was current CSI: cast member Wallace Langham, formerly of The Larry Sanders Show and Veronica's Closet. He was charming and chatty and we briefly discussed my one day visit to the CSI: set earlier this year. Our other Mystery Guest was Olympics legend Bruce Jenner, who remains as entertaining as ever, and who was guessed, as I recall, by the lovely Ms. Pimental. Guessing the two non-celebrity contestants, however, proved to be an entirely different case.

The first, after considerable questioning on our part which came nowhere near the truth of his line, turned out to be a gentleman who sells medical Marijuana. The second was a lovely young woman named Jessica Dragan, who we quickly determined was somehow involved with dogs. How she was involved with dogs, we had no idea. We tried everything we could think of, dog walker, dog groomer, dog trainer, dog doctor, dog dresser, dog manicurist, I even asked if perhaps she was a dog whisperer. Wrong on all counts. When the ten NOs were turned over, Ms. Dragan was revealed to be a dog masseuse, someone who massages dog therapeutically. As ever, our terrific host J. Keith Van Straatan, asked if the panel and the audience would like to see exactly what it is Ms. Dragan does, and when we all responded enthusiastically, J. Keith gestured to the side of the stage and said, "In that case, let's all welcome Len's dog, Muffin!" And, from around the corner, dragging our lovely hostess for the evening, Natasha Leggerro, behind her, comes trotting my big ol' beautiful brown baby. You could have heard my jaw bouncing off the floor from five counties over.

As many of you may recall, we almost lost Muffy early last month when she had to have her spleen removed. Thankfully, she seems to have recovered almost completely, and has been on a special diet where she has started losing some of her extra weight. But to see her come trotting out on stage like that? Those in the audience tell me I was slack-jawed. Apparently, just after my lovely wife Christine and I had left for the show, my buddy Bob Skir (who had told me he couldn't make it to this week's show because he had to finish reading the new Harry Potter book before someone spoiled it for him, an excuse, BTW, I understood) had secretly driven to my house, collected my stepson Michael and my dog and had taken them to the theater and hidden them backstage. Muffin thoroughly enjoyed her massage and then proceeded to spend the remainder of the show sitting by my side, thus adding a fifth, albeit silent, member to our panel.

All in all, one of the single most surreal nights I've spent in the theater. Wish you could've been there. Of course, you can still come to this coming Sunday's show, sadly the last of our current season. For details, click here.

My dog Muffin, definitely bigger than a bread box.

Playing Catch Up

Yes, yes, I know. I promised to blog every day and I haven't which means I lied and so now I'm going to Hell when I die, but at least I've been promised a room with a view. Oh, and a heated pool.

Seriously, gang, it's been a strange few weeks. About fourteen days ago, I got offered an incredibly cool new Top Secret gig that required me spending most of last week up in the Bay area, working in the good offices of said Top Secret project, so I wasn't really in any position to blog, even though I finally bought a brand-spanking-new laptop iBook so I could work on the road. The iBook has wi-fi, so in theory at least I should be able to blog while I'm out of town and the next time I have to go back up north to meet with the fine folks I'm working with, I promise I'll try that.

In the meanwhile, the renovation of the kitchen is finally moving along apace. The new cabinets are in place, the new sink countertop will supposedly arrive tomorrow, the doors for said cabinets are due to be added in a matter of days, and then the painting will begin. It seems there is light at the end of the tunnel at last. So when will our kitchen finally be finished? Well, as Rick Blaine once so famously put it, "Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, but soon, and for the rest of our lives."

Last Saturday, my lovely wife Christine and I got to see the first fifteen minutes of the new Disney/Pixar animated feature Ratatouille. Yep, just the first fifteen minutes, since that's when all the alarms in the the local mighty mega-multiplex (all 21 screens worth) went off and several thousand people had to evacuate the theater because of a popcorn fire at the concession stand. Now, I can understand the pseudo-butter catching fire, but the popcorn itself? What's the stuff made of ? As far as I'm concerned, I'm eating nothing but Raisinets from now on. Hopefully, I'll be able to find some time in my currently-insane schedule to catch the rest of the film at some point soon. What I saw was absolutely terrific.

Sunday night, as if things around here aren't already crazy enough, I was back on the panel of What's My Line? - Live On Stage, which I've been mentioning here repeatedly of late. The other members of the panel were Suzy Nakamura (currently on screen in Evan Almighty), former Mighty Carson Art Player and TeaTime Lady Teresa Ganzel, and my new friend, eight-time Jeopardy! champion and author of the terrific book Prisoner of Trebekistan, Bob Harris. But as wonderful as we all were, this was the first time I felt the group of challengers was generally more famous than we on the panel were. The contestants included a lovely young lady whose line is cleaning birds that have fallen victim to oil spills and such, multi-talented actor Dorian Harewood, who also teaches Blackjack as a sideline, ventriloquist Mallory Lewis, daughter of the legendary Shari Lewis, who brought along Lamb Chop to entertain the audience, and our Mystery Guest, Oscar-nominated actor (for Jackie Brown) Robert Forster. You can click here to check out who's gonna be on this week's show. Rumor has it that What's My Line? is being extended through the end of the month and I may be back on the panel the Sunday before Comicon. If so, I'll let you all know.

Let's see. Anything else going on right now? Yeah, probably. But I've got to save something for my next post. If I'm a little infrequent here for the next few weeks, chalk it up to the Top Secret project. It's not that I don't love you. You know what you mean to me.

Are You Bigger Than a Bread Box?

Well, if you weren't at last night's performance of What's My Line? - Live on Stage (and if you weren't and live in the LA area, shame on you), you missed what may have been the funniest show ever. The panel last night consisted of Kate Flannery (of NBC's The Office), Greg Proops (of Whose Line Is Is Anyway? fame), Debra Wilson Skelton (of MADtv and Reno 911 fame), and the talented and entertaining Barry Saltzman, a What's My Line? regular. The contestants included a young woman whose line was selling paper (a tip of the hat to Ms. Flannery), another young woman who turned out to be an FBI agent, though you would never guess it to look at her, and, signing in as Mr. X, the legendary Leonard Stern, writer of such classic TV series as The Honeymooners, The Phil Silvers Show, Get Smart, I'm Dickens, He's Fenster, He and She, and many others, though Mr. Stern was there last evening in his capacity as the co-creator of Mad Libs, which will celebrate its 50th anniversary next year. The Mystery Guest this week was Jasmine Guy, star of the TV series A Different World and Dead Like Me, and as charming and entertaining a Mystery Guest as we've had.

It's not that the panel was particularly brilliant last night, though they usually are. In point of fact, the only occupation they guessed was the lady paper seller, and that was only because the show's accomplished host, J. Keith Van Straaten, artfully steered them back on course after they'd asked if the product the young lady sold might be paper-like or paperish, and then promptly forgot all about that. No, it was just that, as with any spontaneous live performance, there was the constant sense that tonight, just this once, everything was going to go completely out of control. Trust me. You had to be there. I laughed so hard over the hour-and-a-half of the performance that I almost gave myself a sore throat.

This coming Sunday, I will be back on the panel instead of sitting in the audience. My fellow panelists are comedian/actress Suzy Nakamura (from last season's short-lived comedy Help Me Help You), former Jeopardy! champion and radio commentator Bob Harris (author of the fascinating book Prisoner of Trebekistan), and the always-hysterical Teresa Ganzel. You can learn more about the show and how to buy tickets by clicking here. Right now, there are only two more shows left this season. If you miss them, you'll never forgive yourself.

So, I expect you see you in the audience this coming Sunday. Don't disappoint me. I'll be taking attendance.

A Few Quick Reminders

Well, in an hour or so, I'm off to sunny Metropolis, Illinois, for the 29th Annual Superman Celebration. I'll be there through mid-day Sunday, signing autographs and shaking hands, so if you happen to be in the area, drop by and say howdy. This, of course, means I won't be blogging for the next few days, since I have neither the equipment nor the knowledge to blog from the road. When I return, I promise to regale you all with my adventures. I'm really hoping to get a picture of me flanked by Noel Neill (the original Lois Lane) and Erica Durance (the current Lois Lane). I just think that would be the coolest thing in the world.

Being in Illinois, of course, means that I'm going to have to miss the premiere episode of the spectacular What's My Line? - Live On Stage this Sunday evening over at the Acme Comedy Theater on La Brea south of Beverly, but the rest of you in the LA area don't have to be so unfortunate. I'm expecting you all to go see the show (you can check out the details a few posts back) and report back to me on what I missed.

I'll see you all Monday. Have a great weekend.

Will The Most Fun I've Ever Had Kindly Enter and Sign In, Please?

About two and a half years ago, my lovely wife Christine and I were having dinner with our dear friends, Andy Zax (the Music Geek from the Comedy Central game show, Beat the Geeks, and one of the finest music producers in town) and his stunning fiance, the multi-talented artist/actress Lisa Jane Persky (check out her nifty blog by clicking on the link to your right) when Andy offhandedly mentioned that he would be busy the following Wednesday because he'd be appearing on the panel of the game show, What's My Line? No animated cartoon character ever gave a bigger or better double-take than the one I gave in response. As I may have mentioned here a time or two in the past, second only to my obsession with Musical Theater is my obsession with TV game shows.

"How can this be?" I stammered. "What's My Line? has been off the air for decades."

Andy proceeded to explain to me that former Beat the Geeks host J. Keith Van Straaten and his friend Jim Newman had revived the show and it was being performed live every Wednesday night at the Acme Comedy Theater at the corners of La Brea and Beverly Boulevards.

"Oh. So it's a parody of the original show," I say, sadly. "No," replies Andy, "They're treating it just as if the original program had never gone off the air. The panelists dress in appropriate evening wear. The contestants are completely legitimate. Heck, they even have a celebrity Mystery Guest every week, just like the original show." "How could I possibly have missed this?" I wondered aloud, sadly shaking my head, and at that moment determined I'd be in the audience of that Wednesday's show, not just to cheer on my friend Andy, but to see what the heck was going on.

Well, dear readers, that evening was right at the top of the most fun I've ever had. The panel that night included, as well as my buddy Andy, Marcia Wallace (Carol of the classic Bob Newhart Show and many of the voices these days on The Simpsons), Star Trek: TNG's own Wil Wheaton, and award-winning journalist and novelist Patt Morrison. The Mystery Guest was music legend Stephen Bishop, who sang several of his classic songs after his true identity was guessed by the panel. J. Keith stepped more than ably into the shoes of the show's original host, the late, lamented John Charles Daly. The show's regular music was performed by the absurdly talented keyboardist/songwriter (and now my buddy) Adam Chester, and our hostess was the lovely and talented Claudia Dolph. At the end of the show, J. Keith invited anyone with an odd or interesting line of work to leave a note with Claudia, and I happily obliged.

A few days later, Jim Newman called to ask if I'd be interested in appearing on the show as a contestant to try to stump the panel. I agreed before he could finish asking the question.

Thus, a few Wednesdays later, I found myself being asked to enter and sign in, please. Before I went out on stage, I had one of those self-conscious moments and asked the show's director Jim Newman if perhaps I should sign in as Mister X, since I am, in some circles, more well-known than I ever imagined I'd be. Jim said it was okay, that any member of the panel who recognized me was obligated to recuse themselves from the game. So I signed in, sat next to J. Keith and faced the panel, which that night consisted of longtime The Young and the Restless actress, Kate Linder; Whose Line Is It Anyway?'s own Greg Proops; former Win Ben Stein's Money co-host and screenwriter of the comedy feature The Sweetest Thing, Nancy Pimental, and retro-kitsch video historian Charles Phoenix. While no one on the panel recused themselves, a murmur ran through the audience, I was later told, when I signed in.

After the panel was told that I was self-employed and dealt in a service, Charles Phoenix immediately sent the panel down the wrong path by asking if there was an object involved in the service I provided and, when I answered yes, he then asked if said product could be folded in half and stuck in one's back pocket. I thought about it for a moment, then admitted that it could. After all, I'd done it myself many times as a kid. Phoenix thought the object was a wallet, and the other members of the panel never got anywhere near back to the truth of my occupation. After my line was revealed to the panel, I went down the line, shaking each panelist's hand as I exited. Greg Proops took my hand, and apologized to me, saying he read my stuff, but the name hadn't registered. I thanked him, took my leave, and joined my wife in the audience to watch the rest of the show. The Mystery Guest that evening was Kathy Kinney, who played Mimi Bobeck on The Drew Carey Show. The panel failed to guess her true identity, which made poor Greg Proops doubly embarrassed, since he'd just finished touring with Kathy the week before.

After the show, several members of the audience came up to me, asking for autographs, including one young man who said he was a professional photographer, and who raised his pants leg to show me his large tattoo of the cover of Batman: The Killing Joke, a book I had edited, which was a shot of the Joker taking a photo of the reader. I thanked him, and silently added that image to the many Wolverine tattoos people have shown me over the years that, I'm certain, will assure my place in Hell one warm day. After the others had left, a stocky fella in his mid-30s, wearing glasses and shortish blond hair came up to me and said, "Hi. Just wanted to tell you I'm a big fan of your work. Some of my friends and I are going next door for drinks after the show and we'd love to have you and your wife join us. Oh, sorry. I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Drew Carey." I told him I knew who he was, having watched every episode of all of his shows, and we happily joined his group for drinks. As I've said before, living in Hollywood can be a surreal experience.

Anyway, a few days later, I get another phone call from Jim Newman. He said the audience had loved me, and he and J. Keith were both amazed at how knowledgeable I was about the show (I've watched every available episode of the original and syndicated series for years now on the Game Show Network) and would I be interested in becoming one of their recurring panelists? My answer was short and sweet. "Sure. Who do I have to kill?" I mean, seriously, how often does one get to become a member of the cast of one of one's all-time favorite TV shows, especially one that had been off the air for two decades. It would be like the late Rod Serling calling me up and asking me to write an episode of the original Twilight Zone, the show that is one of the single biggest influences on my becoming a writer.

Over the next year-and-a-half, I appeared on the panel nine times, alongside such stalwarts as game show hosts Graham Elwood and Frank Nicotero, comedians like Cathy Ladman, Debra Wilson, and Mo Collins, actors like John Waters' own Mink Stole, Ann Magnuson, Jane Brucker, ER's J.P. Manoux, Notes From the Underbelly's Rachel Harris, radio personalities April Winchell (Paul's daughter) and Kitty Felde, and actress and former Playmate Julie McCullough. I also shared the panel at various times with the aforementioned Greg Proops, Nancy Pimental, and Kate Linder. Our Mystery Guests included legendary game host host Wink Martindale (in the coolest white suit I've ever seen), Married...With Children's David Faustino, Hawaii 50's James MacArthur, the Love Boat's Ted Lange (who asked me for my autograph for his kids), LA Law and Dharma and Greg's Alan Rachins, Cheers' Shelly Long, The Hollywood Squares and the Academy Awards own Bruce Vilanch, soap star Lorenzo Lamas, and Laugh-In's own Gary Owens (with whom I'd had dinner just a few weeks before and who is so damn good at manipulating that incredible voice of his that I failed to guess him, thus forever forcing me to wear a paper bag over my head whenever I see him from now on). A sampling of other Mystery Guests on nights when I wasn't on the panel included Larry King, Ed Asner, Elliot Gould, former California Governor Grey Davis, Monty Hall, singer Lisa Loeb, Rose Marie, Nanette Fabray, and former Presidential candidate Michael Dukakis and his wife Kitty.

We wrapped our season early last July, intending to take the summer off, then resume with new shows from September through November. But life got in the way. For various reasons, J. Keith moved to New York for most of the year and, without our host, I assumed What's My Line? was finally dead.

Well, the reason I'm going on like this is that I'm thrilled to tell you we've risen from the grave. On Sunday June 10th and for the next four Sundays thereafter, What's My Line? - Live On Stage is back, once again darkening the halls of the Acme Comedy Theater. At the moment, I'm scheduled to be the panel on Sunday July 1st, and possibly one other Sunday, but things are still flexible and those dates may change. If you live in the Southern California area, I suggest you run, jump, hop or fly to get tickets while they're still available. You can click on the link on the Theater's name above for more details. But I'd do it and do it soon.

Trust me, people. This is one show you do not want to miss.